I was riding into work today
On a fucking Citibike
And I'm passing some slow ass piece of shit
And I always make a lot of room when I pass,
Because you never fucking know when the guy you're passing
Is going to fucking swerve toward you
And I thought I had looked behind me
Because I usually do
Because there's a lot of fucking maniacs
On the fucking bike path by the fucking Hudson
But I guess I didn't
Because just as I'm passing this slow ass motherfucker on my right
Here comes this fucking speed fucking racer,
Gives me maybe fucking two inches on my left
As he passes me and the slow ass fucking guy
And I gasped like a girl
Seriously, I gasped like a little fucking, fucking little girl
Like if those guys on the Jersey fucking Shore would have heard me
They would have thought their opinion of my sexual orientation
Would have been fucking indisputably proven
So this fucking Lycra wearing fucking piece of shit
Passes me and I think
I should fucking catch up to him
And pass him, giving him plenty of fucking room
And say to him:
This is how you pass people, you fucking piece of shit.
But this fucking piece of shit
Is on a ten speed
And I'm on a fucking slow ass Citibike
And I'm maybe 20, 25 years older than Lycrafuck over here
And what the fuck do I fucking care any fucking way
What the fuck am I trying to fucking prove
I'll just keep riding to the fucking office
And write a fucking poem about this fucking piece of shit later
That's what I thought
I'll write a poem about you later, Lycrafuck
And I watched his stupid fucking Lycra covered ass
Speed away on that fucking 10-speed
And I thought
Thank you, Fuckface
Thank you for another fucking poem.
Bike Lyrics performed by King Missile are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Bike Lyrics performed by King Missile is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD