The Mystery Man came over
And he said: "I'm outta-sight!"
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me, but I said
(Look here brother)
(Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?)
Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Look here brother)
(Don't you waste your time on me)
The Mystery Man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
And a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Aphrodite
And the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said: "You might not believe this, little fellow
But it'll cure your asthma too.", and I said
(Look here brother)
(Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?)
Now what kind of a guru are you anyway?
(Look here brother)
(Don't you waste your time on me)
Don't waste yer time
I've got troubles of my own, I said
And you can't help me out
So take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up yer snout
"But I got a crystal ball," he said
And held it to the light
So I snatched it all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was deep
I said some mumbo jumbos then
I told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocket watch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around
I said, "The price of meat has just gone up
And your ol' lady has just gone down."
(Look here brother)
(Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?)
Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Don't you know
You could make more money as a butcher
So don't you waste your time on me
(Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me)
(Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm)
Shontay
Cosmik Debris Lyrics performed by Frank Zappa are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Cosmik Debris Lyrics performed by Frank Zappa is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD