I hung a shingle
Country Music for Hire
No fans, no singles
10 years later I'm tired
Now I've racked my brain
And I've looked all around
But I can't find a way
to freshen my sound
And now who do you call
when you're down to one musical dime?
Fountains of Wayne Hotline
(phone ringback)
— Fountains of Wayne Hotline. Gerald speaking. How can I help you?
· Oh, yeah. Thanks. Uh, hello. Um, yeah, I'm a country singer in, uh, a small Midwestern town. And uh, I'm here in the studio today. Uh, let me explain. We're working on a track. And uh we juhs, dih- dih- dih- just did a verse. It was kind of broken down. And at this point I'm not sure where to take it. Where to go from here...
— Sir, sir. Calm down. We can help you. We can help you. What you need to do now is employ the "radical dynamic shift"
· The, the radical... yes, uh, wha-, what do you mean by that?
— You know. Full band entry, fortissimo, while maintaining consistent apparent volume on the vocal track.
· Oh. Oh! Yeah, yeah! That's a great idea! Hey, thanks a lot! Thanks for your time!
— My pleasure. We're always here.
It's such a drag
to face another filthy stage
Beating these 3 chords
into early middle age
I'd be better off with
7 at hand
An analog synth and an
angry young band
Then I could turn my muddy water
into sweet Mexican wine
Fountains of Wayne Hotline
— Slightly distorted melodic solo!
— Check!
(phone ringback)
—Hotline. Department of Bridges and Infrastructure. Grant speaking.
· Oh yeah, hi there. I called a little while ago. I talked to a gentleman. I believe his name was Gerald. And, um, he...
— Sir, we've got about seven Geralds here. You're talking to me now.
· Yeah, of course, yeah. The point is I'm in the middle of the song, we're about 3 minutes in, and I'm not sure where to take it from here. We've done a couple verses and its just kind of, um hit a, hit a wall.
— Yeah. Yeah, well, Tell me about your textural variations and harmonic palette that you have going so far.
· Oh of course. Well, um. Two 16-bar verses, the first one broken down, followed by a radical dynamic shift.
— Oh, THAT Gerald.
· A slightly distorted melodic guitar solo. And chordally, let's see, a 1, a 5, a 4, with and without a sub-dominant 7, a 2, 2 minor, and briefly a 9th compound over the tonic.
— Uh, well that 9th, is that telegraphed or is that just gratuitous coloration?
· Um, a bit of both, actually.
— Oh, OK. Well let's hit the bridge, I'll tell you what you do. No new chords introduced. Get a split bar of 4 in there, and push the one. And then we'll slather the holy hell out of the thing with a semi-ironic Beach Boys vocal pad. And then an asymmetrical back end. There's your bridge.
· Uh huh.
— Yep.
· Isn't that kind of a lot of information to put in the...
— Sir, I've been on this hotline for 15 years you're gonna have to trust me on this one.
· OK, OK. Thank you very much. I'll give it a try. Thank you.
— You got it, chief.
Oh, yeah
Now we're getting big and full
Oh, yeah
Try a wider interval
Just like this? Oh yeah!
More like: Oh yeah!!
Check me out: Oooooooo, yeah!!
I feel invincible and all dialed-in
kinda Long Island with some West Coast sin
So let's cut to the coda
Any old gimmick is fine
Fountains of Wayne Hotline
Fountains Of Wayne Hotline Lyrics performed by Robbie Fulks are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Fountains Of Wayne Hotline Lyrics performed by Robbie Fulks is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD