Stephen:I have to redo the vocals for Medieval Bush.
Friends: Why?
Stephen: Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century.
Friends: Wait! So how do you know this?
Stephen: Cause I used to be a teacher.
Friends: (laugh)You used to be a teacher?
Stephen: Yes
Friend: Professor?
Stephen: No, I taught elementary school and I got fired for I had an unorthodox way of teaching. In which I would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids.
Friend: Of course you did.
Stephen: Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you...Ben Franklin
"Ben Franklin went out one night,
Tied a key to the end of a kite,
Electricity struck so bright,
Write it down muthafuckas"
Friends: You called the kids motherfuckers?
Stephen: Some of them were motherfuckers yes.
Friends: Science
Stephen: Um...
"Issac Newton sat under a tree,
An apple hit him in the head so he,
Said holy shit thats gravity,
So write it down muthafuckas"
I have a million of theses.
Friends: Pilgrims
Stephen: Okay....hey....
"Pilgrims raced against the clock,
Lookin for a place to dock,
They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock,
Write it down muthafuckas."
Friends: I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy.
Stephen: Im not implying anything.
Friend: Wright Brothers
Stephen: Uh....
" A dude named Orville Wright,
Told his brother lets invinflight,
So Wilbur said "ight",
Write it down muthafuckas"
Yes, he said "ight"
Friend: Wilbur said "ight"?
Stephen: In my story he did.
Friend: Wilbur was street in your story?
Stephen: Yes
Friend: Word
Stephen: See, you can't stump me
Friend: Slavery?
Stephen: Uh there is nothing funny about slavery...well...
"Abe Lincoln lead the nation,
Freed slaves form the plantations,
Inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation,
Write it down anaem-ops."
Friend: Gandhi!
Stephen:Uh...I did not have one for him. Uh...hold on, hold on. Gandhi...Uh...alright.
(slowly) "Gandhi is what you said,
An Indian with a bald head,
He was a bit under fed,
Write is down muthafuckas!"
Fried from that job!
Friend: Your a genius.
History Lesson Lyrics performed by Stephen Lynch are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that History Lesson Lyrics performed by Stephen Lynch is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD