No, I never was in Vietnam
I never once dove into an empty swimming pool
I never let the carpet walk right out from under me
I never painted a house or a tree
I never did become an exotic dancer
Or a customer service representative
I never took the pulse of a dying duck
Or gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to a horsefly
In a way I s'pose you could say
My experience is quite limited
For example, I never locked Oliver Cromwell in a broom closet
While singing Waltzing Matilda
I never sawed a television in half
Although I once saw Wendy O'Williams saw a guitar
I never played a decent game of jacks
I never played poker with a toothless one eyed pirate
Who kept picking his teeth with a bowie knife
To distract me while his parrot looked over my shoulder
And told him what cards I had
By using an elaborate code involving
Vomiting, chirping and sea shanties
I never bought a lamp
Wait I did buy a lamp once
But I never bought a lantern or a lambskin prophylactic
I never bought lima beans or lime pudding
I never bought a lion or a Lionel Richie album
I never bought anything beginning with the letter "L"
Except lollipops, lightbulbs and lettuce...and the lamp
I never laid down for a nap
And found the Everly brothers in bed with me
I never let a cyborg take out the garbage
I'm sorry I stole the radio
I did it
I sawed the legs off the periodic table
I re-elected the President
I did it, it was my fault
I farted in the church
I'm sorry I did many many bad things
And I am so sorry
I'm Sorry Lyrics performed by King Missile are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that I'm Sorry Lyrics performed by King Missile is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD