I work down at the pizza pit
and I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm five foot three and overweight
I'm a sci-fi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out my space
'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I can have a three way chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life, the only time I've ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
But, oh, online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that will blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I can have a three way chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
When you got my kind of stats, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Everytime I log in
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm six foot five and I look damn good
And even on a slow day
I can have a three way chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
Hey, I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
Oneline Lyrics performed by Brad Paisley are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Oneline Lyrics performed by Brad Paisley is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD