Customer:
Morning,
Waitress:
Morning.
Customer:
What have you got?
Waitress:
Well, there's egg and bacon,
egg sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.
(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)
Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce,
served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines,
garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and Spam
Wife:
Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress:
Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam
That's not got much spam in it
Wife:
I don't want any spam!
Customer:
Why can't she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage?
Wife:
That's got spam in it!
Customer:
Hasn't got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it?
(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam!...)
Wife:
Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then?
Waitress:
Bleeehhh!!
Wife:
What do you mean 'Bleh'? I don't like spam!
(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress (to choir):
Shut up!
(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress:
Shut Up! Bloody Vikings!
You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife:
I don't like spam!
Customer:
Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it,
I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans,
spam, spam, spam, and spam!
(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress:
Shut Up!! Baked beans are off.
Customer:
Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress:
You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam,
spam and spam?
Choir (intervening):
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!
Spam Lyrics performed by Monty Python are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Spam Lyrics performed by Monty Python is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD