Pirelli:
I am Adolfo Pirelli
Da kinf of da barbers
Da barber of da kings
E buon giorno, good day
I blow you a kiss!
And I, da so-famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a da nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss!
Who says this?!
Todd (spoken):
I do. I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have
opened a bottle of Pirelli's elixir, and I say to you
that it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from
piss and ink. And furthermore—"Signor"—I have
serviced no kings, yet I wager I can shave a cheek with
ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank!
Pirelli (spoken):
You hear zis foolish man? No please, you will see
how he will regret his folly!
Todd (spoken):
Who's for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be
the judge?
Beadle (spoken):
Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner.
Pirelli:
Now, signorini, signori,
We mix-a da lather
But first-a you gather
Around, signorini, signori,
You looking a man
Who have had-a da glory
To shave-a da Pope!
Mr. Sweeney whoever—
I beg-a your pardon—'ll
Probably say it was only a cardinal—
Nope!
It was-a da Pope!
To shave-a da face,
To cut-a da hair,
Require da grace,
Require da flair,
For if-a you slip,
You nick-a da skin,
You clip-a da chin,
You rip-a da lip a bit
Beyond-a repair!
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart.
Not just-a da flash,
It take-a panache,
It take-a da passion
For da art.
To shave-a da face,
To trim-a da beard,
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle,
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!
It take-a da skill,
It take-a da brains,
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace,
It take-a da graaaaaace—
Beadle (spoken):
The winner is Todd.
The Contest Lyrics performed by Stephen Sondheim are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that The Contest Lyrics performed by Stephen Sondheim is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD