"Okay, so, we brainiacs finally figured out that we live in multiple universes. A billion stars afar, but really, what quantum mindfuck is that? Are you ready? Knock yourself out. Freaky..."
Darwin defended creation
Einstein travelled in time
Columbus discovered India
And Shakespeare couldn't rhyme
O.J. pleaded guilty
Manson made parole
Reagan won five Oscars
And Meryl none at all
Elvis was a vegan
Dylan never got stoned
Alice was known as Vincent
And Bowie was just Jones
Michael looked like Michael
Keith drank only juice
Madonna was a virgin
And Jimi played the flute
Bond's drink was stirred, not shaken
Darth Vader had no son
Dorothy was still in Kansas, and
Clint didn't own a gun
Rocky had no sequels
Arnold never came back
E.T. dialled the wrong number
And Dolly had no rack
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