I figured, since I wrote a song about, you know, God and Jesus and all that, I would have to give the opposition equal time.
(menacing voice)
Ever since first man has walked this Earth I have been here,
To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear.
I am the Beast, the outcast angel, fallen from on high.
I go by many names, by there is one you can't deny:
(upbeat, flamboyant voice)
My name is Satan!
Hi, everybody!
Ahh, let me tell you a little about myself...
My friends all call me Old Scratch, and I am a Capricorn.
My turn-ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn.
I've got little devil horns, and a little goatee,
And little devil eyes to help a little devil see,
And little cloven hooves make it kinda hard to ski,
I'm Satan!
Woo hoo!
Mephistopheles for some, I dunno...
My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz.
I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals.
Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a Zinfandel,
Try to wash off that baby seal smell,
And then I'll make a toast to me:
Hey, here's to my hell......th
My name is Satan!
Ah haa!
To carry on my evil ways, I went and had a son,
And now he makes his living as a singing comedian...
I'm in every Zeppelin album,
I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants,
I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance.
And if I want to eat your soul, I'll just throw it on a griddle,
Don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle,
And fuck Charlie Daniels, I don't care if he can fiddle,
I'm Satan.
(Charlie Daniels impersonation)
Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal...
(upbeat, flamboyant voice)
This is fucking bullshit, because I would not be caught dead in... Georgia! OK? It's like, oh my gawd!
Six, six, six!
Satan!
... Look. That's just how I picture him. You fuckin' think of whatever you want.
Beelz Lyrics performed by Stephen Lynch are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Beelz Lyrics performed by Stephen Lynch is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD