Stephen: Mark has been my best friend for many years now, and I wrote a song-
Mark: About one.
Stephen: ...that's a lot of months. I wrote a song to celebrate what I think is our greatest asset as friends, and that's our complete and utter differences. We're total opposites when it comes to almost everything.
Mark: Completely.
Stephen: So I wrote a song, and we're gonna sing it for you now.
Mark: Gay. Not gay. Just one thing. It's this shirt, isn't it? Alright, I'm the gay one.
Stephen: Thank you! I didn't wanna out you in front of everybody.
Mark: I like my toast buttered.
Stephen: And I like mine dry.
Mark: I dig the Beatles.
Stephen: I'm a 'Stones kinda guy.
Mark: I have fine taste.
Stephen: And I like things cheap.
Mark: I wanna stay up all night.
Stephen: I just wanna sleep... with your sister!
Mark: I'm sorry, what did you just say?
Stephen: What?
Mark: No, you just said something about you want to sleep with my-
Mark: I like the sunshine.
Stephen: And I wanna nail your sister.
Mark: See there, you just said it again. I like Julia Roberts movies.
Stephen: I just wanna F*** the S*** out of your sister!
Stephen: Well Tyke, you would rule, if you'd say "It's cool"
Mark: What are you talking about? It's not cool!
Stephen: I'd go pick her up at her Jr. High School!
Mark: Woah! Hey! That Sister? NO!
Stephen: Yeah! I wanna F*** your sister! I just wanna F*** in her F***ing face and C** all over her hair and stick it in her eyeball and-
Mark: Hey! No! OH MY GOD! You can't skull F*** my sister!
Mark: Hey, hey, woah! Wait a minute!
Stephen: What?
Mark: Woah, goddamit!
Stephen: What???
Mark: You wanna F*** my sister?
Stephen: Yes.
Mark: You wanna F*** my SISTER?
Stephen: Yes!
Mark: *pause* $26.50.
Best Friend's Song Lyrics performed by Stephen Lynch are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Best Friend's Song Lyrics performed by Stephen Lynch is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD