There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy,
but he lived in a cage the size of his thumb.
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks,
he galloped around until hit by a car.
Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
just to remind myself I'll never fly.
Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes
just to pretend I won't scream when I die.
Sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer.
At least then I'll get to watch tv all day.
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers
even if all my questions are taken away.
If my life was as long as the moon's,
I'd still be jealous of the sun.
If my life lasted only one day,
I'd still be drunk by noon.
Drunk By Noon Lyrics performed by The Handsome Family are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that Drunk By Noon Lyrics performed by The Handsome Family is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD