I saw a baby drive a truck
I saw a junkie eat a tuba
I saw a stripper kiss a duck
Behind a dumpster in Aruba
I saw this fat, psychotic guy
His underwear was made of crickets
He pawned his skeleton to buy
Some old, expired lotto tickets
I saw a naked vagrant
Giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
I probably could've gone my whole life without seeing that
With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes
I saw a mime get hacked to death
With an imaginary cleaver
I saw an old man's final breath
I watched him die from Bieber Fever
I saw these diabetic chicks
In an abandoned 7-11
I watched 'em snorting Pixy Stix
While they were belching "Stairway to Heaven"
I saw two drag queens trying to see how many crackers
They could shove up each other's nose
I'd like to erase my mind completely but I suppose
That's just the way it goes
With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes... my own eyes
Those visions haunt my memory
Oh, there's so much I wish I could un-see
With my own eyes
Some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra
And he trained it to massage his back
My guinea pig committed harakiri
So we used him to play hacky sack
My neighbor's kids sold weapons-grade plutonium
And frosty, ice-cold lemonade
They took MasterCard and sometimes human organs in trade
That's how we paid
I have to say that it was really darn good lemonade
With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes... my own eyes
Those visions haunt my memory
Oh, there's so much I wish I could un-see
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
My Own Eyes Lyrics performed by Weird Al Yankovic are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that My Own Eyes Lyrics performed by Weird Al Yankovic is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD