I been listenin' to silverchair, now I wish I was a freak;
Been readin' The River Ophelia - I'd love a masochistic streak;
But I am just a normal guy - I even use capital "S" -
Why, I'd rather tell the papers that I secretly cross-dress;
Women Who Run With Men Who Hate Wolves just left me unimpressed -
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
To get anywhere these days it seems a problem's a necessity;
Your father's gay; heroin's passe - just another fashion accessory;
I tried Recovered Memory, but that put me in a bind
Cos I became hypnotically aware my Dad was really kind.
You might have once been traumatized, but we're not all similarly blessed -
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
I went along to the Men's Movement - "Stop crying, girl," they'd shout;
Steve Biddulph, who wrote that Manhood book, got up and punched my lights out;
I went along to the women's room, but all I did was get it wrong -
I told 'em Smack Your Bitch Up was my current favorite song;
"But the Prodigy are so confronting," I tried vainly to protest:
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
I lied to the Gambling Help Line, said I'd made my family poor -
When I asked what chance recovery, they offered me nine to four;
I rang that Alan Jones guy up, but he couldn't help me either:
"You a battler or a bludger?" he said - it turns out, I was neither!
"Come back when you're a stereotype if you wanna be in the press."
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
Finally I told the wife the reason I'd been so undemanding,
And what was worse, she took it well, and was totally understanding;
Those self-destructing relationships are simply too much fuss:
Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Well, I gotta say, not us -
Would you believe I like my kids? Can you get more mentally messed?
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
Why is it just so hard for me to take things way too far?
I'd like to travel beyond good and evil, but first I gotta wash the car;
I'd like to get a nipple ring and connect it to my dodger,
But somehow it just don't suit a bloke whose name is plain old Roger-
I'd be a member of the underclass, but they'd laugh at how I dressed:
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
So it looks like I got to give up my dream of joining the Bad Seeds -
Those guys can't handle confronting concepts, like "thanks" and "please";
Sneaking 16 things in the "12 Items Only" aisle will be my biggest sin;
It's the shopping center of modern consciousness that I will stay trapped in -
I buy my junk from off the streets - I find The Trading Post's the best:
I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.
I just know I can't be creative. Why? I'm not depressed enough -
Yet I wish I was the guy who wrote: "If you're creative - get stuffed."
There's a competition going to have the most painful lives,
But the pain you feel from nine to five I guess don't qualify.
Your life might be miserable, but that don't stop your art from being crappier:
I'm sure that I would be more depressed if I wasn't happier.
The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is That I'm Not More Depressed Lyrics performed by TISM are property and copyright of the authors, artists and labels. You should note that The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happier Is That I'm Not More Depressed Lyrics performed by TISM is only provided for educational purposes only and if you like the song you should buy the CD